The aim of this form is to enable you to present yourself in all your inestimable glory so that we may prod, poke, prevaricate and ponder whether or not you make the grade for membership in the Armchair Anarchist Apathy Club.

Of course, this may provoke in you a desire to question the authority under which such estimation is conducted, and this is only logical on your part. To view a brief of the terms under which you will be examined, and the basis on which your application will be superficially screened, vilified, discounted and eventually discarded - refer to our Terms of Reference. We trust you will find them to your satisfaction.

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Your Experience in this area

—Please choose an option—I have a Masters degree in a related field.I once had a relationship with a person in this area.As an ex-tv personality, i have many skills.Alcohol makes me more cleverer than anyone.

Now please describe in 8 words or less just how important you believe Vegemite will be to the future of world peace and a true integration of race, colour and creed.

If you accept the primary premise underlying the above question, please indicate your confirmation below.

We will need you to provide copies of documentation to prove your identity, your height, weight and colour preferences for incidental stationery supplies. All copies are to be appropriately certified, with nice virtual plastic sleeves Photoshopped over the scanned images. Not sure how you'd do this but that is what we want. And a shrubbery. A nice little one with pretty little lanes between the rows.

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